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If your child comes home looking emo, don’t be too quick to judge. A tween daughter may simply be copying a current fashion style that’s big in her class, while a teenage son might just enjoy applying “guyliner” (eyeliner on guys).

Parents should observe and answer questions like, “Why is my child doing this? Why is he so preoccupied with this trend? What is missing in his life?” A doctor advises parents to be present and lend an ear. “Being emo is a call for help,” she says. “Before telling your children what they must do, listen to them first. They want to be heard, not listen to a sermon.” “They do not want to be judged, so a hysterical reaction from parents will not help.”

If your teenager is just experimenting, talk to him and set limits. “It’s not about banning or censoring. Be flexible enough to negotiate with your teen as far as these limits are concerned. Remind them of the consequences if they fail to follow the limits.”

Communication helps build a successful relationship, so the best thing parents can do is have regular talks with their kids. Express genuine interest and concern. Gradually, they will open up and let parents help sort out their confusing feelings.

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